Today by the end of the day (Wednesday, 26 of May) I was felling more cranky that in the previous days. It's true that I am falling behind my own personal goals and doing less work than I plan to when I wake up in the morning, being it due to non-work related commitments, or due to the constant messaging and chatting throughout the day, questions and emails that deviate my attention from the main tasks and I end up losing to much time with that. It has always been like that and I myself have always been like that.
But there's something else that was a probable source for more irritation and bad mood: today, and ulike most days in the last couple of weeks, I didn't listen to music during my activities, both domestically and work related ones.
I mentioned in Facebook on the 1st of May, when I shared the Indicators of my state of mind, that I forgot to say how important music is to me. Music is really essential, I became aware now after all the process I went through, that when I'm feeling bad I listen to less music and by listening to less music I get worse; it's a vicious cycle.
I always had a connection to music, which is nothing special since almost everyone enjoys music (one genre or the other). But the family on my mother's side always enjoyed singing and dancing and I was even a a soloist in the church choir. I like to sing but I mostly enjoy playing music. And because I stared playing without lessons, I know I'm a natural drummer at heart but my "talent" is not exclusive to the rhythmic section. I can hum a composition, in detail, many times after only hearing it once. But what mattered most to me was that when I let myself go with it, when playing live music, and many times I would reach a state of ecstasy.
Every now and then when listening to some music that has parts (or the whole music is like that) that makes me shiver I have to stop what I'm doing and close my eyes so that I can go on a trip with it. Sometimes I sing along, others I "drum" with my feet and my hands...
That is why music help mes and lifts me spirit. And thus it is dumb to l put the music aside when I start entering the Tired or the Semi-depressive state of mind. This particular behaviour does not help in recovering from those negative states.
One of the recent changes to my daily habits I implemented, and it's related with music, was to start using Spotify on a daily basis, and since I got a Bluetooth speaker as a gift from Zoom, I listen to music often in the early morning, when I'm taking a shower, when preparing breakfast or doing the dishes. After that and while I work, I have Spotify playing, sometimes on the headphones and others on the (excellent, I have to admit) internal loudspeakers of the MacBook Pro.
And I did become a fan of Spotify as you can see on the top image (text is in Portuguese as those are my locale settings on the laptop). It allows me to listen to all sorts and genres of music and even the playlists it recommends me allow me to discover new stuff, bands and genres. As it is visible in the image, I don't stick to one genre, even though I'm more into rock (and its variants) I also listen to pop, classical music, jazz, soul, etc... In the screenshot I took the "Daily Mix 1" is not visible, but that one has "MARO, Toranja, Humanos and more" (all Portuguese acts)...
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