This text was originally published here (in Portuguese) on the 06-Mar-2008
It became a routine. Every now and then we got the e-mail, sent by the administrative assistants, to complain about the mess that we, the male colleagues, made at the toilets. That because at my previous job the toilets were common, shared between the men and the (few) women.
But why were the WC dirty? Basically they were full of ... piss in the floor around the toilet.
Does this mean that all men are pigs and can't even piss properly? No doubt that some are, and we all are careless in the act at times, but the truth is that pissing is really a complicated procedure and that most of the times it leaves traces outside the proper places, meaning the toilet and urinal.
Because I know that women will find this difficult to understand, I will use an analogy, that I am certain will make everybody understand my point.
Think of an hose and using it to water the garden or wash a car. No, I have no illusions about comparing sizes, that's not it, but in reality a man's dick is exactly like an hose.
Let's do the following exercise: when we pick up the hose and open the tap, a stream comes out of it and even if you point the hose to a certain spot, the stream is not 100% constant and stead. The water stream will have an arc trajectory that varies depending on the quantity and pressure of the water, as well as when you close the tap, the water will drop ever more vertically as the water is running out. And even when the water is flowing constantly, it can happen and there are times that it does, that breaks in the stream appear, usually caused by air travelling in the pipes.
Also, many people put a finger, the thumb for example, in the exit of the hose, to increase the pressure of the water stream. When we put the finger, and until we adjust its position, the water is going all sorts of places.
And last but not least, even after closing the tap and putting down the hose, some water still drips from it, mainly when we are rolling the hose to store it even minutes after using it, there is water coming out, since it was still present in the hose.
So my peeps, in particular the ladies that are the target audience for this dissertation, have no doubts that what I describe above is precisely what happens with our "tool". From the arc trajectory that varies at the beginning and at the end, the problems with pressure variation that escapes our control at times, up to the the biggest problem of all that I personally have to face, the drops that fall vertically at the end of the act. And again, last but not least, and even if it does not cause a mess in the toilets but a mess elsewhere, is those stupid final drops that persist in escaping when we pack our "tool" inside. Actually the phenomen is common and known by men all over the world, which lead to the saying that goes something like: The last drop, be it piss or something else, always falls on the underwear!.
With that I conclude that the Man, when performing his liquid physiological need, its almost incapable of doing it without messing up the floor. One needs to be very careful, to handle all the variants that come with it, and specially at the end one needs to pay attention and clean from the floor those unwanted drops, as I usually do, using toilet paper!
This is the only way to keep an acceptable level of hygiene in the WC, with toilet shared between men and women, because in reality my friends is that it may not look as so, but pissing is really a complicated procedure for men!
It became a routine. Every now and then we got the e-mail, sent by the administrative assistants, to complain about the mess that we, the male colleagues, made at the toilets. That because at my previous job the toilets were common, shared between the men and the (few) women.But why were the WC dirty? Basically they were full of ... piss in the floor around the toilet.
Does this mean that all men are pigs and can't even piss properly? No doubt that some are, and we all are careless in the act at times, but the truth is that pissing is really a complicated procedure and that most of the times it leaves traces outside the proper places, meaning the toilet and urinal.
Because I know that women will find this difficult to understand, I will use an analogy, that I am certain will make everybody understand my point.
Think of an hose and using it to water the garden or wash a car. No, I have no illusions about comparing sizes, that's not it, but in reality a man's dick is exactly like an hose.
Let's do the following exercise: when we pick up the hose and open the tap, a stream comes out of it and even if you point the hose to a certain spot, the stream is not 100% constant and stead. The water stream will have an arc trajectory that varies depending on the quantity and pressure of the water, as well as when you close the tap, the water will drop ever more vertically as the water is running out. And even when the water is flowing constantly, it can happen and there are times that it does, that breaks in the stream appear, usually caused by air travelling in the pipes.
Also, many people put a finger, the thumb for example, in the exit of the hose, to increase the pressure of the water stream. When we put the finger, and until we adjust its position, the water is going all sorts of places.
And last but not least, even after closing the tap and putting down the hose, some water still drips from it, mainly when we are rolling the hose to store it even minutes after using it, there is water coming out, since it was still present in the hose.
So my peeps, in particular the ladies that are the target audience for this dissertation, have no doubts that what I describe above is precisely what happens with our "tool". From the arc trajectory that varies at the beginning and at the end, the problems with pressure variation that escapes our control at times, up to the the biggest problem of all that I personally have to face, the drops that fall vertically at the end of the act. And again, last but not least, and even if it does not cause a mess in the toilets but a mess elsewhere, is those stupid final drops that persist in escaping when we pack our "tool" inside. Actually the phenomen is common and known by men all over the world, which lead to the saying that goes something like: The last drop, be it piss or something else, always falls on the underwear!.
With that I conclude that the Man, when performing his liquid physiological need, its almost incapable of doing it without messing up the floor. One needs to be very careful, to handle all the variants that come with it, and specially at the end one needs to pay attention and clean from the floor those unwanted drops, as I usually do, using toilet paper!
This is the only way to keep an acceptable level of hygiene in the WC, with toilet shared between men and women, because in reality my friends is that it may not look as so, but pissing is really a complicated procedure for men!
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